Switches can’t be dominant

Originally posted on Jeff’s journal on Fetlife. Click here to view comments or leave your own.

Switches can’t be dominant

…or so I have been told every single time I have submitted or bottomed in public.

Admittedly, that’s not terribly frequent.

For one thing, I have much more to offer as a dominant than as a submissive – but for another, it’s just not worth the challenge of deciding whether or not to defend my identity.

I mean, to be honest, the sort of people who say “You’re not really dominant” aren’t usually people I’m going to respect in the first place.

But letting the assertion go unanswered is pretty damn frustrating.

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Broken Magic: on recovering after losing D/s

Originally posted on Jeff’s journal on Fetlife. Click here to view comments or leave your own.

Most people I know who have suffered a loss of love tend look, as you would expect, like people in states of deep sadness and grief.

Many people I know who have suffered a loss of D/s tend to look like their normal selves – only shellshocked.

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Their expressions seem oddly wooden. Their response times lag a little bit behind what would be normal for them. They sometimes look and act, to put it bluntly, almost like people with PTSD.

I’m not speaking, here, of people who have necessarily suffered abuse. I’m just speaking of people who’ve lost some sort of powerful D/s connection.

I see those people at events, at home, in social settings, and they often seem much like themselves – only they don’t smile so much, they don’t laugh so easily, and when I look at them – when I look at myself – that appearance is curiously hollow.

Why is that? Why not ordinary grief? Why this numbed uncertainty?

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Semi-Annual Play Partners

I saw them again!

In a variety of outfits distilled down to mouth-watering perfection, my semi-annual play partners (SAPPs) emerged from the depths of the con.

Like it always is, we re-meet in a tight embrace with our names on each other’s lips. A million stories wait eagerly behind each moniker. Without a doubt, these are the people I spend the majority of my time at GKE with, tucked into vending rooms or a stolen class hour or two.

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D/s: My uglier heart

Originally posted on Jeff’s journal on Fetlife. Click here to view comments or leave your own.

…and secretly, I’m glad that politeness, third-party consent, and other considerations mean that we can’t, and shouldn’t, let D/s be visible to the public world.

Because I don’t want to share my other heart.

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On an indomitable spirit

When I was young, my first school of martial arts had an oath which included the phrase: “I will foster an indomitable spirit”.

And at the time – I was beginning high school – it was easy to see how that applied. When you were stretched out to your maximum capacity, on your last push-up, or the final kick your leg and kick could throw, or you’d finished every move of your form with as much vigor as you could put into each piece and you were exhausted – that you could somehow go beyond. That when you’d reached the very limit, you could break that limit.

And that’s true. But oddly enough, that’s tiny.

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